That girl in the train.


As that city full of lights began to fade away with the hooting train moving in the other direction, she became a little clueless for a couple of minutes, actually seconds.

Tick tock, tick tock..

She couldn’t hear a word around her, just her head telling her to jump out. Better sense had but always prevailed and today was no exception. Tears in her eyes, she decided to yet again, STAY!!

Why? Oh, that question had always baffled her!! This wasn’t a first, neither a second, the truth being, she’d lost count, not because remembering the numbers was painful, but because not keeping a count was convenient. This twist of convenience and pain, churned together to make sense, was called LIFE!!!

Co-incidentally, I was myself travelling in that same train that night, and I had the opportunity to talk to her for some time. She tried to smile, and I was ready to hear her story.

I heard it all, and am not narrating any of it here, for sheer confidentiality reasons!! But from what I could gather, life wasn’t being unfair to her. She was just being given a chance to be fair to her life.

She was a jolly girl, full of life, content in the inside, but a little restless on the out. She’d put herself out there in the world, to experiment and experience variety. She was, unknown to her own self, also looking for love, an ear, a breeze of happiness, and a secret state of umm, a strong bond. She was a perfect example of a confused girl in a big city, actually really knowing just what her heart wanted, but never being able to spell it out in as many words and expressions. She awaited her future with bated breath, as that was what she looked up to.

I did not ask her name as I wanted to impartially analyse her state in life, and remember her as a ‘city girl’ I’d bumped into and looked through. I wished her a happy life and went my way.

I’m sure she thought I was judging her, but did that matter? I’m sure she did not care enough, or may be she cared beyond care, and that is where I mis-judged!! Either way, it all and always boils down to confused people, going somewhere everyday, not sure of what they’re up to, and yet, calling themselves settled in life, looking for love, not realising that are, missing their loved ones, and bumping into people who judge them.

Until I meet another one I can write about,

- Stuti

What matters?


No, colour does not matter,
Yet she chose green.
No, moods do not matter,
And yet she chooses to be happy.

Yes, truth matters,
Yet she sometimes lies.
Yes, courage matters,
And yet fear there is some times.

No, company doesn’t matter,
Yet she chose a companion.
No, opinion didn’t matter,
And yet she all the time judges.

The battle of yes and no,
The tussle of right and wrong.
The answer will always be love,
Whether plainly that, or strung in a beautiful SONG!

- Stuti

Woman.


She can shout when she wants,
But she chooses to be humble.
She can cry when she feels so,
But to smile does she choose.

She will sometimes pretend to not know,
Only because she knows that speaking will make YOU feel better.
She will sometimes pretend to not understand,
Only because she knows that taking care will make YOU comfortable.

A rock, a pillar, yet her cotton soft heart one can only admire,
A wall, so tall, she’ll guard you from all fire.
She’s pretty, sometimes not so much too, but strong all the time nonetheless,
Oh woman! You baffle all, being there for each one, despite your own MESSY MESS!

- Stuti

Her own style.


She put on a mask and carried on with her everyday,
Trying to be what it was supposed to be,
Vowing to be there with the seemingly ‘always- right’ gentry.

She wore a smile, and slapped on some lipstick,
Red, bright, confident, and twirly,
Heels high, thoughts windy.

It amazed her how comfortable people were with two faces at a go,
It amazed her even more that in just some time and going,
She was there too. Two faces. In her one being.

She had grown on it all, or had it all grown on her?
She had started enjoying it all, or was it enjoying her?
Her mask of the right (huh!). Her mask of the twirly.

And now when she is knee deep in this game of ‘I’m-here-to-prove-myself’,
She finds it tough to go back, and take off her make up,
And so she only wears a smile, and slaps on some more lipstick, and fights it all anyway. HER OWN STYLE.

- Stuti

When.


When things get complicated,
As they most often will.
When ideas don’t work,
And you wait until.

When smiles are sad,
And still the face is bright.
When sadness is well hidden,
But still doesn’t hide the plight.

When trying doesn’t stop,
‘Coz when it does, disaster it will be.
Simply look forward to luminescence,
Leading to light, happy, success, and smiles SANS PERFUNCTORY.

 

- Stuti

In a space.


In a space where
life beyond grace does not exist,

In a space where
grace is fooled to be taken to levels beyond life,

In a space where
fear fears disgrace and disharmony,

And in a space where
harmony befriends disharmony and then cheats on it,

There alone will there be a balance of thought and universe,
though that in- INEQUALITY, PREJUDICE, PURPOSE and PAIN.

- Stuti

Happiness and Joy!


This piece has been long due. A lot of people have time and again, asked me to write on ‘joy and happiness’. Though very subjective issues, people often categorize joy and happiness into one sphere of ‘good times’.

The thought of joy made her smile,
Joy meant happy for her.
We want joy, we want happy,
Happy and joy- emotions NUTTY!

One may be happy when one sees other happy people, but one may also get sad when one sees other happy people. Paradox? Sadism? Situations in life? None! Just frames of mind. Experiences in life. Your past. Your ex. Your present. Your hopes for the future. I don’t defy the logic of joy in any manner. I am totally ‘FOR’ happy situations and totally ‘FOR’ joy in people and life. But what I don’t agree with is the pinch that the joy and happy in one life makes  in other lives. Why can’t all joys be independent? Why does jealousy have to find its ways into the whole spectrum of happy emotions? Why does one negative emotion stand against all positive emotions, and ruin the vibes of positivity? Why are we, as smart intellectual beings (*sarcasm intended*), unable to bifurcate and keep separate, the emotions in our own life and separate them from those of others? Why do we mix things? Why do we confuse them? Why do we make a cocktail of them all, and then call it bad? So here go my thoughts on this-

‘Joy’ and ‘happiness’ are superficial concepts, relevant only to the lives of those to which they are happening. Efforts should be made to keep the others out of it; lest they jeopardize what it is. What should be sought is ‘peace’-  Peace of mind, peace of relations, and peace even in pain. Let’s be happy, or at least attempt it, but I’m not too sure about whether we should also spread the joy!

- Stuti

One. Two.


She questioned all that was said,
One question.
Two answers.

He answered all that was asked,
Two questions.
One answer.

They could debate for hours together,
Both ending winners.
Yet one happy to lose.

But they found their peace only in these simple-
Two bits of silence.
One BRIGHT SMILE.

- Stuti