Anita.


That day Anita came back from school, all drenched in sweat, and with a face matching the red that her eyes were, and ran straight to her room. Her mother, imagining the worst but hoping that it wasn’t so, customarily laid down the table with Anita’s close- to- favorite dishes, for lunch.

Ten minutes later, a cleaner Anita appeared at the lunch table, washed and scrubbed in a white cotton dress now, as if having made truce with whatever it was, that had happened in the first half that day. They both sat down for lunch, and silently started eating. The mother patiently (though getting a little impatient with the each passing minute) waited for an explanation to the latest events, but Anita gave none. Exactly ten minutes later, Anita finished her lunch and headed back to her room, not a word exchanged since her return from school. Now the mother knew that something was seriously wrong, when the usually chatty Anita had not spoken a single word in the last one hour since her return from school. On a paper, she scribbled a note and slid it under Anita’s door, and went for her afternoon nap.

The evening saw Anita running out for her play time, a jolly and happy girl, as if nothing at all had happened to disturb her. Later in the day she had discussed it all with her mother, sorted out the unhappy, and started yet another eventful challenging next day.

Today, when Anita is now a young entrepreneur with lots of things to scare her and tire her zeal, all she does is read that note her ma had slid under the door that day(now framed on her wall) and re-gains her strength:

“Life doesn’t happen on its own, whatever it is that bothers you today, is either a consequence of your letting it happen, or of your letting something else happen. Whatever it is, take ownership, fight it back, and be the promising strong lady I am raising you to be ~ Always there to hear you, Ma”

– Stuti

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A beginning and the end.


A thought for all to ponder on today. Your thoughts on this are most welcome 🙂

All’s well, that ends well, but does it? Does the sequence of events in the middle of ‘the beginning’ and ‘the end’, really not matter? I think they do. In fact, I don’t like endings! Am I a fan of beginnings then? No, not particularly. But I like to enjoy whats happening in that sweet and salty phase spanning right after beginning, and just before the end. For, that is when you have the liberty and power to model that clay to your fancy, then break it again and model it again to experiment (until you secretly approach ‘the end’). Does it then mean that ‘the beginning’ can happen only once? I submit my answer to this as a firm ‘no’! A beginning can happen wherever you wish for it to happen. Just get to the point, set your foot firm there, and put up a placard declaring ‘I begin’! It will not, and should not kill your ego to declare that you are just a beginner, in fact whatever be the age, you will feel young once again, and what will follow will be that lovely phase of getting things rolling. Some may argue that endings are important too. Again, I couldn’t deny that, because aren’t you entitled to your sweet opinion too? Here you will complain that I’m being diplomatic in my argument and writing, but here’s the deal, if I do not support the cause of a beginning and an ending, how will I love what’s in the middle of these two milestones?  😉

Not trying to confuse you,
Stuti 🙂

In conversation with- Time.


Some say that time flies. Some have no time at all. And there’s this other lot of people who like to while their time away. I interestingly, was in conversation with time yesterday.

I had this peculiar dream last night, where as unrealistic and funny it may seem, I was in conversation with ‘time’! Nothing fancy, we talked about this and that, and then it suddenly decided to, like in most other cases, run away! Now while we were at it, Mr. Time, narrated how it experienced so many different characters in it’s course everyday, and that tonight it intended to interview me to no end, with only one question and wanted me to answer it in full detail, not leaving until it was satisfied with the explanation. The question was a pretty simple one, with no frills, and open ends for an elaborate answer- ‘Tell me dear, what does the concept of ‘time’ mean to you?’

Now to be very frank, this question left me baffled! For, in this world of twisted conversations, nobody had asked me such a simple and straight question in the longest time 😉 So after thinking about this for a few minutes, I put my answer on the table with decent ease. Rather calmly, and with a confident smile, I said, ‘Time is magic, and that will explain it all!’. Satisfied, Mr. Time left with no further questions.

Interestingly, this conversation was not as simple as it seems here. It left me overjoyed with the realisation that magic is everywhere and that time truly is magical! I wouldn’t say that time is a commodity. Neither is it a virtue or a quality. Rather, it is an elastic concept which accommodates all- the past, the present, and the future too. When in love, and in company of loved ones, time would fly. When in pain, time would pause, and when in a rush, time would hurry too. Adaptive as it is, time wonderfully aligns all to a schedule like no other. All in all, time is a beautifully crafted, personalised, yet the most practical gift of magic to mankind.

The conversation last night left me happy as I thanked my stars for the gift of time, and the choice of being blessed by magic too. It is ‘time’ that bonds one to others, and it is ‘time’ that detaches some due to space.

The tick-tocks I thank,
For they chose me to make me smile.
The hands of time as if chosen to play from me-
A rhythm of life, a lifetime of tunes, some magic, some trysts, SOME TRIALS!

– Stuti

P.s. Time stops for none, and still patiently waits for you to find that special one 😉

 

Nostalgic-an!


At the time when I started writing this piece for the blog, I started with the intention to write about ‘time’. But as I did continue writing, my thoughts were directed more towards the unavoidable feeling of ‘NOSTALGIA’, due to more than one reasons- the primary being, a blog post by my bestie (can be read here http://tanya-das.blogspot.in/2014/09/a-home-called-hostel.html?showComment=1410413176622#c6871874135258170274 ).

Though I myself and in my head, knew the definition of ‘nostalgia’, I still decided to refer to a dictionary for a better direction in writing this here. Surprisingly enough, it explained the word in just the same manner as I had thought it to be-“ wistful desire to return in thought or in fact to a former time in one’s life, to one’s home or homeland, or to one’s family and friends; a sentimental yearning for the happiness of a former place or time”. And in a more human, sentimental, and expression-ist manner, it can be defined as that sentiment or feeling that gives you the same shiver that it gave you at the time that incident happened. When attacked by this beautiful beast called nostalgia, you can suddenly feel the warmth of that hand on your hand, you smile at the joke that was cracked probably an year ago, your eyes become moist thinking of that broken pencil which but broke when you were in primary school, you feel the goosebumps of the declaration of your graduation results, and the sadness of the first job rejection! Such is the power of this one word sentiment, that it can suddenly send you on a roller coaster of events that moved you in your life, without that much debated invention of the time machine, and yet a travel back in time, only with respect to feelings and emotions.

Now a few days back, I met this gentleman, who I would like to term as, a nostalgia- critic. He said he believed in living only in the present, and that nostalgia made one weak. He claimed to be living only in the present, and that his life had no place for nostalgia or any emotion of the like. I respect his position as he put it, and yet do not agree with his line of thought. In my opinion, it is totally upon the person travelling into nostalgia, to make such feeling his strength. It is in fact a privilege that we have the opportunity to go back in time, and once again feel those moments, even if it sometimes means that we will re-live a fear. For me, nostalgia as I see it, is a feeling that strengthens, and not many can brave the emotion with a smile. For those who can, I call them- ‘Nostaligic-ans’ 😉

So here we go, my happy message to this world- Enjoy each moment you live, smile when you can and cry when you must, and just every now and then, do soak in that moment of nostalgia, for it will give you the strength to go that extra mile and create another moment to be nostalgic about!

A shade that somehow pushes me to an area of 'nostalgia'

A shade that somehow pushes me to an area of ‘nostalgia’

– Stuti

P.S. I hope my experiments by my own life translate into many moments of nostalgia in the future 🙂

Love.


The topic I decided to write on today is a rather complex one, and yet it is the simplest of the subjects most people claim to be experts on. So I will not be judging whether they’re good judges, or whether they can’t judge on even the most basic of the criteria, and what I will present here, is my own view on this!

LOVE. Luckily, I opened my eyes in this world to be greeted with this superb emotion called LOVE. Surprisingly though, beginning with not knowing what it meant, even today, a good more than twenty years from that day, I haven’t been able to settle on one definition of this word.

As a child, I was sure this word meant something very comfortable, something very nice, and something I could take for granted in my happy world. Growing up, teacher gave it several meanings, even tried to define it, and this is when friends taught me meanings they alone thought were right. It meant everything from a feeling of mushiness, to affection, to attachment, to something that brought joy, and also something movies seemed to give a lot of importance to. My dictionary today lists 28 meanings of this word! Oh God, who wouldn’t get confused?! Most movies seemed to be revolving around the sole subject of love. Every song I liked seemed to be about love. My friends were busy falling in love with some other people, my dad was in love with me and his work, my mom said she loved me, I loved my sister, and my small neighbour kid loved his bicycle, while that little child I knew down the street loved only his chocolate (or so I thought!). So up until a good number of years, love seemed to be those rose tinted glasses which were meant to make everything happy.

And then one day, I read the papers wide eyed, to see that just because this man in the news loved this woman, who wouldn’t agree on marrying him, he killed her! That day, love gave itself one more meaning in my head. Something very contrary to what it had been so far. I thought about it for several days, and finally decided that this too involved the happy love I’d known so far, only ending bad. I felt better.

Each day after that day, I tried to look for love in lives. I was surprised the way I’d missed these nuances so far! How could I have not seen that love in that my maid showed to me when she cleaned my table everyday? It never crossed my mind to thank my mother for the love she showed to me each day, by cooking the most amazing food, and making sure I ate healthy. It surprised me when I realized that I’d never made an attempt to appreciate all the love my father gave me every day all day, by doing what was best for me, and making me do the best too. My sister – how could I not acknowledge her love in pampering me even though she is the younger one? Wasn’t it love when my friends laughed at even my not-so-funny jokes?

Today life patiently still goes on to teach me what love is. Almost every day I see love in newer forms. Surprisingly, I don’t realize it’s love when I see it, but thankfully, I understand it if not then, a little later. And it makes me smile, each time I understand it. Now what amuses me, is that if this emotion is so pretty, why do some people deny its existence? So much so, that they will frown when told that they are loved? Or that they should love?

There isn’t enough love in this world, they say. And yet, embracing love can bring you the happiest feeling ever. To love isn’t easy, but it is definitely easier than to hate! Here, I come to the most important part of my post today- expressing love! When you know that love is magic, and that it makes things easy, why not express it? Most people I know, hesitate in expressing their love, even though I’m pretty certain that they intend to love. I wonder why it’s so difficult for some. Your manner of expression could vary, your style could be one never used before, but expressing love nonetheless makes sense. Anything from a simple smile, to a tight hug is a brilliant expression of love. For some, exchanging silence could be an expression of love, while for others, blabbering all the time could mean love. A friend i know, simply drops in little ‘I love you’ notes to his people when he feels love for them. Why wait for a perfect moment to express it? Go all out. Express your love where you feel it. Paint the world in tinted colours, for expressing love is probably the simplest way of showing it, and also probably the easiest way of minimizing hatred.

Love isn’t easy, but it’s definitely worth the effort.

– Stuti

Love. And how I see it.

Love. And how I see it.

P.s. I have been working on this post for the longest time, and as surprising this is to me myself, this was not one of the easy posts that I have published here. A thousand thoughts run in my mind as I write here today, and a million people and their way of expressing love crosses my mind. I’m unable to augment all, but I really hope this is a beginning of understanding this complex emotion, and lays a foundation stone to start a discussion here on this beauty.

Magic.


As a kid, I used to be really happy about every television show that had any element of ‘magic’ in it! I used to love the way anything could be made to appear out of nowhere, and then be made to disappear to somewhere just on a wave of hand, or a wand, or by blinking eyes or by a swirl of a body part, or something else so nice. Each time, at the end of the show, I would thank my stars for being able to see that episode which made sweets appear from nowhere, and transformed animals into people, and distasteful food items to sweets and chocolates, letting me into a whole new arena of wild imagination. And while all of this continued to happen on the TV, whether owing to some magic sand, or a genie, or a robot doll, or simply some witches from centuries ago ( yes, I can imagine you all recalling which television series I am referring to J), thanks to my ma, I also read many many books featuring elves, and gnomes, and magic lands, and faraway magic trees, and the little people there, once again, taking my imagination and fascination about magic to newer levels.

I would keep my broken tooth under the pillow, greedily waiting for the ‘tooth fairy’ to give me presents ( I know you all did too!). I would be nice to my friends so that some fairy godmother would grant me my wishes. I would now and then, peek into the backyard to see if the brooms were doing a secret dance. I would try not to lie, lest my nose grow longer than Pinocchio. I would always be on a look out for trees growing boiled candies, and fountains with flowing chocolate syrup. I would look for secret tunnels in my garden, and for little wooden doors on the trees around. I had a picture of each of those fairy characters in my mind- how they looked, what they ate, how their magic affected all, and how their houses were. And then there was an era of serious books and shows, which temporarily paused all the magic.

Growing up, there came the famous Harry Potter with his band of magicians, potions, schools that taught magic, witches, wizards, degrees in magic, so and so forth. Once again, being an enthusiast of magic and its wonders, I read each book wide eyed until I would finish it, and kept hoping secretly, that maybe a Hagrid would one day visit me too, and tell me that I could do magic! Of course, that didn’t happen, and here I am telling you about it!

Some years on, and now today, the word ‘magic’ still charms me, and now no longer in the fairy tale manner. It sends me a little tickle each time I think of it. It makes me smile in a way that I almost blush. So what is magic? To me, magic as I understand it today, is something that makes things happen- whether by a supernatural powerful way, or by a scientific action and reaction way, or simply because as they say, ‘it was meant to happen’. They meet because of magic, they click because of magic, they fight due to the absence of magic, they share a magic moment because of magic, and there is magic because of magic. My question now is, if there’s so much to magic, and if magic brings so many smiles, why not accept its existence and significance in our lives, and weave it into our life routines, and spread some magic around?

Didn’t you feel the magic when your dad let go of your bicycle the first time, and you managed to ride it without falling and without losing your balance for a full thirty seconds? Wasn’t it magical when you realized that you actually managed to cook a decent dish on your own for the first time? Haven’t we all seen magic happen on festivals when the whole family is around, and all faces have smiles? “Oh, I too can sing!” “Ah, my feet dance too!” The smell of freshly brewed coffee. The aroma of fresh spices. Her smile. His nod. Friends. Kindness. Friendship. Love. Hope. Countless reasons, all for that magic!

All I’d say, with so much more to say, is that, magic is where you look for it, and if magic gives you hope and strength, why not sprinkle some in every walk, and experience magic (sic.). Look for magic, and let yourself smile every time you feel it. Let it grow, and sometimes create it too. For just like joy, magic too can be beautiful and soulful.

So, MAGIC IS AN EXPRESSION TOO. You could find it wherever you look for it. And it can be whatever you want it to be. ENJOY YOUR MAGIC! *twinggg*

 – Stuti

Psst.. I experience magic in relationships, love, laughter and even tears. Its truly magical 🙂

Expressions.. Play along!


There are times when you have been thinking of one too many things at once and then you decide to write to clear your head. This is one of those moments for me today, and hope by the end of this piece, I am more sorted, or at least I’ve floated an idea to the reader.

We come across so many people in our cris cross paths of life, that we tend to ignore some of these encounters, never realising that each brush is adding to the score, and the experience. Some people around you will always be found smiling no matter what, some will always be found whining no matter what, some will be sad all the time and others will have little or no reaction to situations. Nonetheless they are all a part of a journey. They too are trying to figure out their paths, their destinies as they are entwined with those around them, and in the whole process, their ifs and buts.

So, we all crave for peace and clarity. We all want to complete the jigsaw with the right pieces fitting together. And we all want that the headphones don’t knot within themselves (this one just randomly hit me!). But we don’t often realise how these pieces being fit together in different combinations lead to newer designs. We fail to appreciate the experiences of others, whether good or bad. We forget to be happy for the celebrations, and try only to concentrate on the pits. We even forget to concentrate on making our own lives beautiful, and go around attempting to unravel the lives of those around.

Not as a solution to all these situations, but more as a way of how I look at these things, I suggest take we out only five minutes everyday, at the end of each day, to think about what we did and encountered that day. We think about how those things in that day affected our life, or will they make any difference at all. At some level, they will. It is for us to reflect on those bits and if required, even work on them. For example, think of that smile that made you smile today. Cherish that twinkle you saw in your crush’s eyes today. Shed a tear for the injustice you thought was happening. Smirk for a second on that neighbour you don’t like. Briefly smile for that secret couple. Think of the friend you missed for even a minute today. Reflect on the ways you wanted things to happen. Cringe on the sudden pain you felt. Feel the hug of a loved one you wished was around. The list could go on and on, and yet not be exhaustive. Go all out and express to at least yourself, if not to the world. Only because, it’s healthy, and it acts an an easy guide to ‘how it should be’. I think what I want to say here is that let expressions play a role in your life. Let the smile be the pushing force, and not the reason to smile.  LET YOUR EXPERIENCE TEACH YOU AN EXPRESSION EACH TIME.

– Stuti

That girl in the train.


As that city full of lights began to fade away with the hooting train moving in the other direction, she became a little clueless for a couple of minutes, actually seconds.

Tick tock, tick tock..

She couldn’t hear a word around her, just her head telling her to jump out. Better sense had but always prevailed and today was no exception. Tears in her eyes, she decided to yet again, STAY!!

Why? Oh, that question had always baffled her!! This wasn’t a first, neither a second, the truth being, she’d lost count, not because remembering the numbers was painful, but because not keeping a count was convenient. This twist of convenience and pain, churned together to make sense, was called LIFE!!!

Co-incidentally, I was myself travelling in that same train that night, and I had the opportunity to talk to her for some time. She tried to smile, and I was ready to hear her story.

I heard it all, and am not narrating any of it here, for sheer confidentiality reasons!! But from what I could gather, life wasn’t being unfair to her. She was just being given a chance to be fair to her life.

She was a jolly girl, full of life, content in the inside, but a little restless on the out. She’d put herself out there in the world, to experiment and experience variety. She was, unknown to her own self, also looking for love, an ear, a breeze of happiness, and a secret state of umm, a strong bond. She was a perfect example of a confused girl in a big city, actually really knowing just what her heart wanted, but never being able to spell it out in as many words and expressions. She awaited her future with bated breath, as that was what she looked up to.

I did not ask her name as I wanted to impartially analyse her state in life, and remember her as a ‘city girl’ I’d bumped into and looked through. I wished her a happy life and went my way.

I’m sure she thought I was judging her, but did that matter? I’m sure she did not care enough, or may be she cared beyond care, and that is where I mis-judged!! Either way, it all and always boils down to confused people, going somewhere everyday, not sure of what they’re up to, and yet, calling themselves settled in life, looking for love, not realising that are, missing their loved ones, and bumping into people who judge them.

Until I meet another one I can write about,

– Stuti