Smooth as glass.

There she sits,
In a state of confusion, and suppressed panic.
There she sits,
Ruffled, shaken, jolted, broken.

She sulks for a day or two,
Then takes to crying.
Her vision blurred with pain and tears,
What remains it seemed, was only dying.

They wonder what it is,
But can only wonder.
They probe a little further, and then a little more,
Getting but no answers, only bemused parents, sisters, brothers.

All’s well, she assures them,
And that is that, and all that she will say.
They aren’t convinced, but they leave her to herself,
Trying to retreat to the normal, trusting now only their prayers.

Time, as they say, heals fast and plays its cards,
Her smile is now back- wide, and pretty, beating the pricks.
They say no lie, when they call her a warrior, fighting the odds, battling the evens,
Falling, but rising later nonetheless- smooth as glass, sure as a PHOENIX.

– Stuti

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Nostalgic-an!

At the time when I started writing this piece for the blog, I started with the intention to write about ‘time’. But as I did continue writing, my thoughts were directed more towards the unavoidable feeling of ‘NOSTALGIA’, due to more than one reasons- the primary being, a blog post by my bestie (can be read here http://tanya-das.blogspot.in/2014/09/a-home-called-hostel.html?showComment=1410413176622#c6871874135258170274 ).

Though I myself and in my head, knew the definition of ‘nostalgia’, I still decided to refer to a dictionary for a better direction in writing this here. Surprisingly enough, it explained the word in just the same manner as I had thought it to be-“ wistful desire to return in thought or in fact to a former time in one’s life, to one’s home or homeland, or to one’s family and friends; a sentimental yearning for the happiness of a former place or time”. And in a more human, sentimental, and expression-ist manner, it can be defined as that sentiment or feeling that gives you the same shiver that it gave you at the time that incident happened. When attacked by this beautiful beast called nostalgia, you can suddenly feel the warmth of that hand on your hand, you smile at the joke that was cracked probably an year ago, your eyes become moist thinking of that broken pencil which but broke when you were in primary school, you feel the goosebumps of the declaration of your graduation results, and the sadness of the first job rejection! Such is the power of this one word sentiment, that it can suddenly send you on a roller coaster of events that moved you in your life, without that much debated invention of the time machine, and yet a travel back in time, only with respect to feelings and emotions.

Now a few days back, I met this gentleman, who I would like to term as, a nostalgia- critic. He said he believed in living only in the present, and that nostalgia made one weak. He claimed to be living only in the present, and that his life had no place for nostalgia or any emotion of the like. I respect his position as he put it, and yet do not agree with his line of thought. In my opinion, it is totally upon the person travelling into nostalgia, to make such feeling his strength. It is in fact a privilege that we have the opportunity to go back in time, and once again feel those moments, even if it sometimes means that we will re-live a fear. For me, nostalgia as I see it, is a feeling that strengthens, and not many can brave the emotion with a smile. For those who can, I call them- ‘Nostaligic-ans’ 😉

So here we go, my happy message to this world- Enjoy each moment you live, smile when you can and cry when you must, and just every now and then, do soak in that moment of nostalgia, for it will give you the strength to go that extra mile and create another moment to be nostalgic about!

A shade that somehow pushes me to an area of ‘nostalgia’

– Stuti

P.S. I hope my experiments by my own life translate into many moments of nostalgia in the future 🙂

Expressions.. Play along!

There are times when you have been thinking of one too many things at once and then you decide to write to clear your head. This is one of those moments for me today, and hope by the end of this piece, I am more sorted, or at least I’ve floated an idea to the reader.

We come across so many people in our cris cross paths of life, that we tend to ignore some of these encounters, never realising that each brush is adding to the score, and the experience. Some people around you will always be found smiling no matter what, some will always be found whining no matter what, some will be sad all the time and others will have little or no reaction to situations. Nonetheless they are all a part of a journey. They too are trying to figure out their paths, their destinies as they are entwined with those around them, and in the whole process, their ifs and buts.

So, we all crave for peace and clarity. We all want to complete the jigsaw with the right pieces fitting together. And we all want that the headphones don’t knot within themselves (this one just randomly hit me!). But we don’t often realise how these pieces being fit together in different combinations lead to newer designs. We fail to appreciate the experiences of others, whether good or bad. We forget to be happy for the celebrations, and try only to concentrate on the pits. We even forget to concentrate on making our own lives beautiful, and go around attempting to unravel the lives of those around.

Not as a solution to all these situations, but more as a way of how I look at these things, I suggest take we out only five minutes everyday, at the end of each day, to think about what we did and encountered that day. We think about how those things in that day affected our life, or will they make any difference at all. At some level, they will. It is for us to reflect on those bits and if required, even work on them. For example, think of that smile that made you smile today. Cherish that twinkle you saw in your crush’s eyes today. Shed a tear for the injustice you thought was happening. Smirk for a second on that neighbour you don’t like. Briefly smile for that secret couple. Think of the friend you missed for even a minute today. Reflect on the ways you wanted things to happen. Cringe on the sudden pain you felt. Feel the hug of a loved one you wished was around. The list could go on and on, and yet not be exhaustive. Go all out and express to at least yourself, if not to the world. Only because, it’s healthy, and it acts an an easy guide to ‘how it should be’. I think what I want to say here is that let expressions play a role in your life. Let the smile be the pushing force, and not the reason to smile.  LET YOUR EXPERIENCE TEACH YOU AN EXPRESSION EACH TIME.

– Stuti

Laughing & Crying.

Fear of the unknown,
And knowledge of it killed her joy.
She knew what was approaching,
Given it all, all seemed a lie.

Laughter all around,
Artificial did it all seem.
Not an iota of genuineness,
It only sounded like some hollow scream.

And yet in this background,
She could hear some silent whisper- like sobbing.
Not too sure of what it was,
She tried to ignore this subtle hammering.

And yet after several attempts of trying to ignore it all,
When she could not so do,
She probed in further, shocking her shock,
For it was she herself, who was laughing on herself, and surprisingly, CRYING TOO!!

-Stuti

Nothing.

Situationally yours,
Perhaps not emotionally?
Looking for a perfection,
Perhaps will never get any?

The only antidote
Working away its magic
Is probably the
Hope of better, the high of dreams.

I look out and see the green,
Turn around and face the grey.
Ever wishing it was the other way round,
Still not praying night and day.

Then I think of all the other possibilities
And reminiscence-
In the glory of a good time,
In the hush of a bad past.

And finally when I’m woken up
I shiver and cry a little,
But then I gather up and return to-
My comfort of the sloppy, the alone, the pride, the NOTHING.

-Stuti

Satire..

No dearth of ideas,
She desires to create yet more.
No dearth of rejections,
She desires to reject the stall.

Life, a panoramic reel of events,
She desires to chain hers to herself.
She wishes not to share herself with others,
And yet is treaded upon as easily.

No, she doesn’t shout,
But she can!
No, she doesn’t throw tantrums,
But she can!

She wants to keep to herself,
But she cannot be a case study in a vacuum.
She wants to raise a toast to life,
But she can’t find that glass in the room.

Without the ideas, the glass, the toast,
It seems all bleak, much too mist.
She craves for clarity, not beauty she desires,
Some jealousy also mixed, her life’s a SATIRE!!

-Stuti