That girl in the train.


As that city full of lights began to fade away with the hooting train moving in the other direction, she became a little clueless for a couple of minutes, actually seconds.

Tick tock, tick tock..

She couldn’t hear a word around her, just her head telling her to jump out. Better sense had but always prevailed and today was no exception. Tears in her eyes, she decided to yet again, STAY!!

Why? Oh, that question had always baffled her!! This wasn’t a first, neither a second, the truth being, she’d lost count, not because remembering the numbers was painful, but because not keeping a count was convenient. This twist of convenience and pain, churned together to make sense, was called LIFE!!!

Co-incidentally, I was myself travelling in that same train that night, and I had the opportunity to talk to her for some time. She tried to smile, and I was ready to hear her story.

I heard it all, and am not narrating any of it here, for sheer confidentiality reasons!! But from what I could gather, life wasn’t being unfair to her. She was just being given a chance to be fair to her life.

She was a jolly girl, full of life, content in the inside, but a little restless on the out. She’d put herself out there in the world, to experiment and experience variety. She was, unknown to her own self, also looking for love, an ear, a breeze of happiness, and a secret state of umm, a strong bond. She was a perfect example of a confused girl in a big city, actually really knowing just what her heart wanted, but never being able to spell it out in as many words and expressions. She awaited her future with bated breath, as that was what she looked up to.

I did not ask her name as I wanted to impartially analyse her state in life, and remember her as a ‘city girl’ I’d bumped into and looked through. I wished her a happy life and went my way.

I’m sure she thought I was judging her, but did that matter? I’m sure she did not care enough, or may be she cared beyond care, and that is where I mis-judged!! Either way, it all and always boils down to confused people, going somewhere everyday, not sure of what they’re up to, and yet, calling themselves settled in life, looking for love, not realising that are, missing their loved ones, and bumping into people who judge them.

Until I meet another one I can write about,

– Stuti

Stopped caring.


She questions what she sees,
Believing it too.
She believes what she questions,
Trying not to.

She’s a little stuck with her thoughts,
Haywire yet sensible, and distraught.
She looks up, then swivels her eyes,
Disguising her opinion, hiding her plight.

They call her opinionated,
They say she judges all the time.
Well, she’s only trying to figure out by experimenting, so let her be.
And she’s only happy ever since she STOPPED CARING.

– Stuti

She judged.


The promises she broke,
The opinion she had,
The options she explored,
Intense all, hypocrisies myriad.

She was judgmental,
And so se judged everybody.
She was temperamental,
And so she though she had the right to be moody.

She judged, as she sailed her life,
Wings left, wings right,
She maneuvered through the windy, blue and fast,
Opinionating on everything, sometimes fresh, sometimes trite.

Happy she was, for what she was,
Confusing sad she was, for what it was not.
Being judgmental has happened to her as a matter of habit,
So much so, that now she judged the judging too, LIKE IT OR NOT.

– Stuti

Judging it all..


She questioned the importance of everything,
People called her inquisitive,
He didn’t want to judge her.

She checked and cross checked everything twice,
People called her obsessively compulsively disordered,
He didn’t judge her.

She smiled when she danced,
People called her happy,
He didn’t want to judge her.

And then she fell in love one day,
People stopped judging her altogether,
And now he judges her the MOST 😉

-Stuti

Judge much?


All of us wish we weren’t judged for everything we do. At new jobs, with new people, new friends, new places, new relations, new anything and new everything- the one hope we have is that we will not be judged before we are able to show our best. And we hope that we are not judged when we are at our worst or in one of our bad times and situations.

Our hope and planning justified, we ( & I) forget these rules when we find new people in our old situations. My old friend’s new place, his new girl, his new office, his new stories- I judge them all inspite of knowing the ‘No- Judging’ Rule by heart. I conveniently forget the rule when I see a girl with smudged kajal walking down the street and start judging her out of inquisitiveness. I don’t care about the rule when a new tenant moves into my neighborhood and I make him uncomfortable by judging his behavior in the new surroundings. I ambush the very foundation of the rule when I take an interview and start judging as soon as I only see the name on the paper. This brings me to the theme here- “Care for me, though I may not so much care to care!”

It is always very easy to hold high expectations from your dear ones and in most situations, even from the strangest of the strangers. But somehow we forget that we are strangers to others too, and we are expected a certain behavior of too. This means, where no one can walk over our rights and joys without knowing us, neither do we have the right or reason to tread on other people’s littles just for fun! If you can’t care and don’t wish to account for any tear of the stranger, make an effort not to let yourself become the reason of their tears, not even one. Don’t judge pre maturely, don’t act before you are asked to, unless you are ready to take the responsibility of the consequences and most importantly, take care of all the Don’t s. No one will teach you each Don’t and yet, you can’t ignore them lest you become a victim yourself.

Learning from lessons may be the right way of learning in life, but it is also a hard hitting way all the same. Let life teach you when it wants and at other times, be a teacher yourself. Ensure you are not chased by life to swallow something you dislike for yourself. This makes the world a better place for me (a victim of unnecessary judgment) and you (also a victim of judging eyes!!).

-Stuti