Love.

The topic I decided to write on today is a rather complex one, and yet it is the simplest of the subjects most people claim to be experts on. So I will not be judging whether they’re good judges, or whether they can’t judge on even the most basic of the criteria, and what I will present here, is my own view on this!

LOVE. Luckily, I opened my eyes in this world to be greeted with this superb emotion called LOVE. Surprisingly though, beginning with not knowing what it meant, even today, a good more than twenty years from that day, I haven’t been able to settle on one definition of this word.

As a child, I was sure this word meant something very comfortable, something very nice, and something I could take for granted in my happy world. Growing up, teacher gave it several meanings, even tried to define it, and this is when friends taught me meanings they alone thought were right. It meant everything from a feeling of mushiness, to affection, to attachment, to something that brought joy, and also something movies seemed to give a lot of importance to. My dictionary today lists 28 meanings of this word! Oh God, who wouldn’t get confused?! Most movies seemed to be revolving around the sole subject of love. Every song I liked seemed to be about love. My friends were busy falling in love with some other people, my dad was in love with me and his work, my mom said she loved me, I loved my sister, and my small neighbour kid loved his bicycle, while that little child I knew down the street loved only his chocolate (or so I thought!). So up until a good number of years, love seemed to be those rose tinted glasses which were meant to make everything happy.

And then one day, I read the papers wide eyed, to see that just because this man in the news loved this woman, who wouldn’t agree on marrying him, he killed her! That day, love gave itself one more meaning in my head. Something very contrary to what it had been so far. I thought about it for several days, and finally decided that this too involved the happy love I’d known so far, only ending bad. I felt better.

Each day after that day, I tried to look for love in lives. I was surprised the way I’d missed these nuances so far! How could I have not seen that love in that my maid showed to me when she cleaned my table everyday? It never crossed my mind to thank my mother for the love she showed to me each day, by cooking the most amazing food, and making sure I ate healthy. It surprised me when I realized that I’d never made an attempt to appreciate all the love my father gave me every day all day, by doing what was best for me, and making me do the best too. My sister – how could I not acknowledge her love in pampering me even though she is the younger one? Wasn’t it love when my friends laughed at even my not-so-funny jokes?

Today life patiently still goes on to teach me what love is. Almost every day I see love in newer forms. Surprisingly, I don’t realize it’s love when I see it, but thankfully, I understand it if not then, a little later. And it makes me smile, each time I understand it. Now what amuses me, is that if this emotion is so pretty, why do some people deny its existence? So much so, that they will frown when told that they are loved? Or that they should love?

There isn’t enough love in this world, they say. And yet, embracing love can bring you the happiest feeling ever. To love isn’t easy, but it is definitely easier than to hate! Here, I come to the most important part of my post today- expressing love! When you know that love is magic, and that it makes things easy, why not express it? Most people I know, hesitate in expressing their love, even though I’m pretty certain that they intend to love. I wonder why it’s so difficult for some. Your manner of expression could vary, your style could be one never used before, but expressing love nonetheless makes sense. Anything from a simple smile, to a tight hug is a brilliant expression of love. For some, exchanging silence could be an expression of love, while for others, blabbering all the time could mean love. A friend i know, simply drops in little ‘I love you’ notes to his people when he feels love for them. Why wait for a perfect moment to express it? Go all out. Express your love where you feel it. Paint the world in tinted colours, for expressing love is probably the simplest way of showing it, and also probably the easiest way of minimizing hatred.

Love isn’t easy, but it’s definitely worth the effort.

– Stuti

Love. And how I see it.

P.s. I have been working on this post for the longest time, and as surprising this is to me myself, this was not one of the easy posts that I have published here. A thousand thoughts run in my mind as I write here today, and a million people and their way of expressing love crosses my mind. I’m unable to augment all, but I really hope this is a beginning of understanding this complex emotion, and lays a foundation stone to start a discussion here on this beauty.

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Judge much?

All of us wish we weren’t judged for everything we do. At new jobs, with new people, new friends, new places, new relations, new anything and new everything- the one hope we have is that we will not be judged before we are able to show our best. And we hope that we are not judged when we are at our worst or in one of our bad times and situations.

Our hope and planning justified, we ( & I) forget these rules when we find new people in our old situations. My old friend’s new place, his new girl, his new office, his new stories- I judge them all inspite of knowing the ‘No- Judging’ Rule by heart. I conveniently forget the rule when I see a girl with smudged kajal walking down the street and start judging her out of inquisitiveness. I don’t care about the rule when a new tenant moves into my neighborhood and I make him uncomfortable by judging his behavior in the new surroundings. I ambush the very foundation of the rule when I take an interview and start judging as soon as I only see the name on the paper. This brings me to the theme here- “Care for me, though I may not so much care to care!”

It is always very easy to hold high expectations from your dear ones and in most situations, even from the strangest of the strangers. But somehow we forget that we are strangers to others too, and we are expected a certain behavior of too. This means, where no one can walk over our rights and joys without knowing us, neither do we have the right or reason to tread on other people’s littles just for fun! If you can’t care and don’t wish to account for any tear of the stranger, make an effort not to let yourself become the reason of their tears, not even one. Don’t judge pre maturely, don’t act before you are asked to, unless you are ready to take the responsibility of the consequences and most importantly, take care of all the Don’t s. No one will teach you each Don’t and yet, you can’t ignore them lest you become a victim yourself.

Learning from lessons may be the right way of learning in life, but it is also a hard hitting way all the same. Let life teach you when it wants and at other times, be a teacher yourself. Ensure you are not chased by life to swallow something you dislike for yourself. This makes the world a better place for me (a victim of unnecessary judgment) and you (also a victim of judging eyes!!).

-Stuti