Smooth as glass.

There she sits,
In a state of confusion, and suppressed panic.
There she sits,
Ruffled, shaken, jolted, broken.

She sulks for a day or two,
Then takes to crying.
Her vision blurred with pain and tears,
What remains it seemed, was only dying.

They wonder what it is,
But can only wonder.
They probe a little further, and then a little more,
Getting but no answers, only bemused parents, sisters, brothers.

All’s well, she assures them,
And that is that, and all that she will say.
They aren’t convinced, but they leave her to herself,
Trying to retreat to the normal, trusting now only their prayers.

Time, as they say, heals fast and plays its cards,
Her smile is now back- wide, and pretty, beating the pricks.
They say no lie, when they call her a warrior, fighting the odds, battling the evens,
Falling, but rising later nonetheless- smooth as glass, sure as a PHOENIX.

– Stuti

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Expressions.. Play along!

There are times when you have been thinking of one too many things at once and then you decide to write to clear your head. This is one of those moments for me today, and hope by the end of this piece, I am more sorted, or at least I’ve floated an idea to the reader.

We come across so many people in our cris cross paths of life, that we tend to ignore some of these encounters, never realising that each brush is adding to the score, and the experience. Some people around you will always be found smiling no matter what, some will always be found whining no matter what, some will be sad all the time and others will have little or no reaction to situations. Nonetheless they are all a part of a journey. They too are trying to figure out their paths, their destinies as they are entwined with those around them, and in the whole process, their ifs and buts.

So, we all crave for peace and clarity. We all want to complete the jigsaw with the right pieces fitting together. And we all want that the headphones don’t knot within themselves (this one just randomly hit me!). But we don’t often realise how these pieces being fit together in different combinations lead to newer designs. We fail to appreciate the experiences of others, whether good or bad. We forget to be happy for the celebrations, and try only to concentrate on the pits. We even forget to concentrate on making our own lives beautiful, and go around attempting to unravel the lives of those around.

Not as a solution to all these situations, but more as a way of how I look at these things, I suggest take we out only five minutes everyday, at the end of each day, to think about what we did and encountered that day. We think about how those things in that day affected our life, or will they make any difference at all. At some level, they will. It is for us to reflect on those bits and if required, even work on them. For example, think of that smile that made you smile today. Cherish that twinkle you saw in your crush’s eyes today. Shed a tear for the injustice you thought was happening. Smirk for a second on that neighbour you don’t like. Briefly smile for that secret couple. Think of the friend you missed for even a minute today. Reflect on the ways you wanted things to happen. Cringe on the sudden pain you felt. Feel the hug of a loved one you wished was around. The list could go on and on, and yet not be exhaustive. Go all out and express to at least yourself, if not to the world. Only because, it’s healthy, and it acts an an easy guide to ‘how it should be’. I think what I want to say here is that let expressions play a role in your life. Let the smile be the pushing force, and not the reason to smile.  LET YOUR EXPERIENCE TEACH YOU AN EXPRESSION EACH TIME.

– Stuti

All at the same time.

Sitting by the roadside,
She saw the many city lights stare at her.
Funny as it was, but instead of making her twitch,
They gave her comfort.

For the city had made her comfortable with the noise,
And the havoc no longer made her panic.
For the city had dried her tears,
And the pain seemed just a dramatic gimmick.

What was paradoxical rather,
Was that she had learnt to find her peace in the loud noise.
She now knew how to lose herself in one moment and come back in the next,
Smiling, frowning, struggling to make sense, ALL AT THE SAME TIME!

– Stuti

Hiccup.

The salt of the streaming tears,
Still remained on her face.
The wet of those tears,
Still dampened her stole.

And quite paradoxical to this all,
She hadn’t even cried that day.
It was only her soul all scathed,
That made her feel weak, and hurt.

As if taking a hint from around,
Life had suddenly decided to be cold and harsh.
No background, no past,
The present seemed gloomy, stung her heart.

Slowing down now, she took a deep breath,
Not quite knowing what to do next.
She closed her eyes, and sighing heavily, silently prayed for peace.
She hoped for comfort in this brazen winter- like hiccup tease.

But somewhere in her heart, and out of the corner of her eye,
She could already see a tiny ray of happiness- like warmth,
Making its way into this period of hiccup, promising to bring back the good times,
As it gave her solace, that she had gently once again, started her BEING – OPTIMISTIC STRIDE.

-Stuti

A solution to love..

Never mind the tears,
She’ll handle them all.
Never mind the smile,
Her heart doesn’t melt so at all.

Never mind the failure,
She’s too hard to be broken.
Success on her mind,
The smalls she considers forgotten.

Never mind the speed breakers,
They slow her speed, not her determination.
She jumps over some, trips over others,
But in the end, aligns her ideas with her inclination.

She’s gotten past most and many smalls,
The bigs she fears not.
It’s only love that scares her now,
For there doesn’t exist a solution for that- not then, NOT NOW.

-Stuti

A bump.

She walked high that day,
In a flurry of some newly acquired confidence.
Sweet smile on that face,
Eyes still intense.

So on and on she marched,
Secretly worrying about that little hiccup,
Pampering her soul with newer ideas,
Her speed each second picking up

But then suddenly she hit a little stone,
And bruised herself some.
A very small bump this was,
But it did leave her numb.

It had shaken her back to her present,
The confidence gone, no pretense.
And now tears in the eyes replaced the smile,
As if accusing her own self for being happy, for being CONFIDENT.

-Stuti

An Adieu not easy..

Starting today I also try my hand at writing short stories, which used to my passion once too. Look forward to my readers’ support and feedback.

That early winter morning, the wind was very strong. She climbed down the stairs with a heavy heart, the cold brutal wind hitting her cheeks as if like a hurricane. But she didn’t and couldn’t have realised the cold of the wind, or as I would call it, the slap of the wind. Her mind was preoccupied with something else, her soul was crying and her heart overwhelmed with feelings sad. As she picked up her bag and started leaving the room, she tried very hard not to remember the happy times spent there, the old pink walls that were painted pale green now, the fights that were wrestled there, the gossips that were spun there. She tried to push away those exact memories of the lessons of life she had learnt there, she tried not to hear her own laughter ringing in her ears.

She started to take out the wind chime on the main door, but then decided to leave it there, as if attempting not to take absolutely all memories with her. She stood at the door, the bag getting heavier each minute, breaking her hand with the weight, but did not feel it even then, the pain of emotions crushing her body even more.

She wiped her tears as she walked, never once vowing to forget her past, and promising herself to make it give her strength. This girl was leaving the place where she had spent a good four years of her life, never once believing that she will leave all so suddenly. She hugged her friends bye, put her bag in the car waiting outside, and turned back to look at the building one last time- the reel of her life played a song, all happy as well as sad images swilling around her, her tears gave her peace and so this time she didn’t wipe them and let them flow. Then as if giving in, she turned around, and sat in the car, closed her eyes and left.

The walls of the house may not speak about her to anybody, but will always remember her stories, the wind chime will always ring and continue to spread the joy she desired, and her story will not ever end just here.

(I dedicate today’s post to a very dear friend, who made me comfortable where I am today, was a patient listener and an active speaker for me, to some extent, a reflection of my thoughts, a supporter and regular reader of my posts at the blog here and above all, a true friend. I’ll miss you here but I wish you luck in wherever your future takes you, for the road is long, and you’ll definitely find the best way around… <3)

– Stuti

When she was sad.

She thought she was the one,
The chosen one.
Her world was filled with expectations immeasurable
She smiled to mean the world to someone,
She cried for the same reason too.
But one day she realised she was not the reason to be a reason,
The things she imagined were too good to be true.
Her eyes moist, her smile gone,
She stared at the wall as if looking for an answer.
The thing she thought was hers, was maybe never meant for her.
Her life a mystery to her, she strived to decode it.
Her life a code to her, she strived to solve it.
And there under the bright afternoon sun as she felt the night go dark,
Her teary eyes spake a story breaking her heart.
She opened her mouth as if to say something
Then shut herself up as she stuttered
Something was pinching her in her own self
Something was bothering her and she knew it so she was bothered.
Her hopes which were soaring by the minute,
Were as if stung by a prick.
She walked a mile, but hardly managed to reach anywhere,
She danced all night, but could not manage to let go of this nightmare.
And as the next morning began to approach,
She closed her eyes and fell asleep,
Only to be waken up by a streak of sunlight peeping into her room,
That stung her eyes,
As if to snatch away all the GLOOM.

-Stuti